Work Spouse

I spoke to an old colleague after a long time today.. We re-lived so many moments during our conversation.. Endless talks, food, shopping, celebrations, fighting for fundamental things at work and being the same next morning.. So many memories..  

Moving on to new assignment at a new city was definitely risky and challenging but I think I was able to cope up with it well. But somewhere this conversation made me realize that all these years of my work, I had one component which was constant in my life -  "A Work Spouse" !! Though the characters changed with time and jobs, but I always had someone. 

“A Work Spouse” is that BFF at work or a go-to person with whom we form a tight friendship. When we have office friends, we can relax a little, knowing that they will interpret our reactions and behavior through a more holistic and human lens. Apart from Loyalty, Support and Trust, at the core of these informal but strong work partnerships, there is Love and Respect !

The power of friendship and having someone to support most of the times leads to more productivity and an encouraging work environment. Most of my office BFFs were not from the same department. I had paired with them to get the jobs done. And they were there for me during long working hours, when I was running around loaded with work or had big presentations. I step up for them when they need support and they also do the same form me. Its about being there for the person. 

In a corporate setting, it’s reassuring to know there’s someone in office who knows the real “Me,” not just the person I am at work. Someone who understands that its ok to be vulnerable sometimes. Not every friendship has what it takes to withstand a working relationship. You need to have a work ethic similar to your pal, as well as compatible standards in life. 

Many times our personal life have implications on our professional life. Health issues, family issues or even positive things like taking up a course, or vacations. There are things that can shift our attitude, our ability to focus and our levels of anxiety. Having someone to share all these leads to much stronger collaborations and a better ability to navigate thru the dramatic ups and downs of professional life. 

And there are benefits too..

~ You can depend on them for office supplies, food and sanitary pads. 

~ You can be honest with them about anything including a bad hair day.

~ When something eventful happens at work, you have a first person to go for de-briefing.

~ At breakfast, lunch and coffee breaks, you have someone who knows what to order for you. You can call them to get your favorite dish when you are not in a mood to cook. I discovered some of the best food joints, coffee and varieties of tea with my work spouse. 

~ You can rely on them to get your work done even if you are away from office. 

~ They will stay back at office late hours just to give you company when you have some work.

~ You can be nasty, witty and sarcastic all at the same time and they will still love you.

~ They can be your stress busters, shopping partners and make your most sinful food treats guilt-free. 

Work Spouse makes it more fun at work and help the work-life balance. It’s great to have a support system but one has to be sure to set boundaries. More importantly, honour those boundaries. 

So here I am.. Looking forward to enjoy gossip, taking breaks and being able to relax with a friend without any concerns or complications. 

And before I end, I want to thank the divine to bless me with some amazing people in my life.

Pooja Bal

I know how much I have nagged you to death everyday and remember calling you at 2 am to take me to hospital when I had kidney stone. Cooking tons of Pasta la vista at your home and relish them. Running around together to put the best show at AETL and thanking God every-time we did well. I miss you !

Aruna Sharma

Remember those time for events and going crazy about preparations and ensuring everything was in place. And I remember being there at hospital, holding tiny Anushka in my hands and wrapping her like a Pro :) I still couldn’t figure out where did I learn that from !

Barkha Chourasia

Though we were not so friendly in the beginning, it was crazy once it started. Our work trips for trials at Morena and Delhi.. And I am sure you will never ever forget our Thailand and Phillipines trip together. I cherish those days I spend at your home and I am looking forward to meet you soon at Indore ! 

Ushma Trivedi

Where to start :)  I miss the endless gossip sessions below Apex and being so engrossed that you missed calls from Gaurav.. Sometimes Apurva will finish his after office chores and find us at the same place after 1 hour of closing the office. I miss those times… 

Thank you for coming to this life and being there for me always !! 

I Will Keep You In My Heart 💖💝

   

It's late in the night. I stand in the centre of my Home.. Sleepless.. With a lump in my throat and wet blurry eyes. I look at the walls, the floor which still has marks of the furniture.. I can hear the voices from friends and family gatherings we had here... 

I look back at the 17 years I spent in this city.. The tough times, the struggle to survive each day, the dark lonely nights, the days filled with hopes, the celebrations of small achievements, and the good times ! They have made me what I am today. This city has the biggest milestones of my life. My career, my spiritual journey.. It all started here.. The course when I met my angels Vandana didi n Venkeybhaiya, The ride with Gurudev, the moment when he blessed me with the new name, the day when I met Aditi and Aparna for the first time, the year when I cut endless cakes on my bday.. the times when surprises were planned... When I cooked n invited friends over lunch n dinners.. Friends who became family and took care of me.... I can go on and on and on....

Suddenly my eyes move to my packed stuff. 17 years packed in these bags. It's so easy to take material things. I wish I could pack all those feelings, laughter, fun, happy moments I spent here. 

I don't want to feel sad. This is a decision I made to be Happier, explore more, being satisfied at the end of the day and have a sense of achievement ! So I am packing all the precious memories, feelings, love of all my friends n well wishers and keeping it safe deep in my heart ! 

Indore, I will be there soon. Be Good to Me  Please !!

Mumbai, I will Always Always keep you in my Heart !! Till we meet again... Adiós ! 

I Love You 💞

The Mask

I remember as a Child I used to love Masks. For a small town girl in those times, going to see the Circus was a treat. Those clowns with colorful clothing, distinctive makeup and fancy masks, I found them to be funny, entertaining and lovable. I wanted to buy those masks from local fairs and pretend to be someone else. It was fun to wear that colorful mask, cover the face and exciting to look someone else. With changing times, the clowns were replaced by Super-Heros and the masks represented more power.

We never realized how the masks have become a part of our lives. Situations, fear, surroundings, experiences… each element added a strong reason to wear a mask. I wore mask to present a docile, refined self in the initial years and each time I wore it, I often did not recognize me. Many times the real emotions behind the happy face remained hidden and elusive. As a woman, I was expected to remain silent when there was a volcano erupting in my life. I have seen women who wear masks all the time just to be a woman of perfection, hiding their emotions, thoughts and dreams in front of the society.

Standing on the crossroads of life, I finally gathered strength to tear the mask away and face the world. I failed, learned, experimented a lot and eventually learned to be fearless, evolved as a new me! Although it helped to wear a mask many times.. it made me smile when I was not happy, be brave when I was falling apart. But somewhere it was hiding my soul and I let go of that.
With age, I came across masked people. The childhood concepts of the masks have taken an absolute new dimension. It turned out to be a mysterious world of dishonesty, unfaithfulness and much more.  The real faces behind it scares me sometimes.

I think it is important to be true to oneself and not to others. Dare to hold on to own identity and self-respect.

People might not like it, may damn you but Be perfect for yourself Anandi !!

Girlfriends !!

Friendship between women has the usual sharing that is the foundation of any relationship. Sharing of thoughts, feelings, experiences, entire life-stories. There's love, care, support, understanding…

But there's more than that. A unique aspect of women friends is, willingness to talk about literally everything.

There is none of that Harry and Sally stuff, and since we don't consider the Sally and Sally stuff to be much fun, we are free to talk about whatever. Since there is no need for political correctness or social niceties, the list of topics to talk about is endless, and it's all direct, dil se!

That brings us to the big question -- what makes girlfriends tick? When you think about it, you realise a number of ingredients make up this delectable dish. 



Heart-to-hearts: These can be across the table, over the phone, over whatsapp groups,  with a coffee cup or popcorn in hand, on a drive, in times of distress or on days of boredom. Basically anytime, anywhere !!

These talks are the oxygen that keeps our friendships alive. We include the dissection and vivisection of everything, and we mean everything, under the sun. Right from the convoluted intricacies of petty office politics to burnt dals and overcooked rice to our own sex life -- past, present or non-existent.

Problems are identified, solutions suggested and pearls of  wisdom distributed free of cost. Only a girlfriend can understand the trauma of a white shirt turning off-white or the deep feeling of hurt at finding a 10k email includes 9k of your original message.

Only she will nod in perfect understanding when a friend wants to cry her heart out at a broken relationship, but says, "I can't, it gives me puffy eyes." 



Humour: Theirs is a unique brand. It's just the right concoction of clean, toilet, sex, and depressive humours, the potency of each ingredient varying according to the occasion and mood.

Who else but a girlfriend can laugh out loud at something inane and exclaim in the same breath, "That's not funny!"

Together we find humour in the sadness in our lives, then shed a few tears right after, and finally get back to those same lives, feeling infinitely better. 



Men: Girlfriends cannot exist without men. That's the bottomline. We may not be able to stand them, and yet we cannot do without them.

Discussing the personality traits of the lower species adds a dash of spice to an insipid conversation. Putting them through the shredder gives a purpose to a ho-hum day. Besides, men have their uses too. 



Husbands and in-laws: Rest assured husbands and men are two different species. Men are merely a pain, husbands a class apart. Swapping notes on husbands and their percentage of participation in housework, lending support and understanding, and generally shouldering some responsibility in the marriage is a time-consuming activity.

Then come in-laws. There is no dearth of conversation when girlfriends sit down on this subject. Night flashes by in a wink when married friends get together for a pyjama party.

It's not merely the supreme satisfaction of saying all the things one wants to one's in-laws but cannot, but the solace of having cleansed the soul and the comfort of knowing you are not alone in your suffering that actually goes into making this topic a bonding factor. 



Fitness: Girlfriends stick together through thick and thin, flabby arms and thunder thighs -- even, frizzy hair and breaking-out skin. Together we confront the temptation of chocolate mousses and the blandness of boiled veggies like true comrades-in-arms. What more proof of an undying friendship do you need? 



The humour and the fun, the gossip and the shredding are merely the tip of the iceberg. There's much more that women share. There's silly laughter and heartfelt tears, meaningful work we do together or just a chat we have -- all indications of the deep trust we have for each other.

Even if the whole world turns its back, these friends will always be there to lend their ear and a perfumed tissue. Doesn't matter whether we've known each other from pigtails to perms, the feeling doesn't die with time.

It's a bond no one can break. Not boyfriends, not husbands, not mothers-in-law..     :-)