Wednesday, September 19, 2018

The Mask

I remember as a Child I used to love Masks. For a small town girl in those times, going to see the Circus was a treat. Those clowns with colorful clothing, distinctive makeup and fancy masks, I found them to be funny, entertaining and lovable. I wanted to buy those masks from local fairs and pretend to be someone else. It was fun to wear that colorful mask, cover the face and exciting to look someone else. With changing times, the clowns were replaced by Super-Heros and the masks represented more power.

We never realized how the masks have become a part of our lives. Situations, fear, surroundings, experiences… each element added a strong reason to wear a mask. I wore mask to present a docile, refined self in the initial years and each time I wore it, I often did not recognize me. Many times the real emotions behind the happy face remained hidden and elusive. As a woman, I was expected to remain silent when there was a volcano erupting in my life. I have seen women who wear masks all the time just to be a woman of perfection, hiding their emotions, thoughts and dreams in front of the society.

Standing on the crossroads of life, I finally gathered strength to tear the mask away and face the world. I failed, learned, experimented a lot and eventually learned to be fearless, evolved as a new me! Although it helped to wear a mask many times.. it made me smile when I was not happy, be brave when I was falling apart. But somewhere it was hiding my soul and I let go of that.
With age, I came across masked people. The childhood concepts of the masks have taken an absolute new dimension. It turned out to be a mysterious world of dishonesty, unfaithfulness and much more.  The real faces behind it scares me sometimes.

I think it is important to be true to oneself and not to others. Dare to hold on to own identity and self-respect.

People might not like it, may damn you but Be perfect for yourself Anandi !!

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Girlfriends !!

Friendship between women has the usual sharing that is the foundation of any relationship. Sharing of thoughts, feelings, experiences, entire life-stories. There's love, care, support, understanding…

But there's more than that. A unique aspect of women friends is, willingness to talk about literally everything.

There is none of that Harry and Sally stuff, and since we don't consider the Sally and Sally stuff to be much fun, we are free to talk about whatever. Since there is no need for political correctness or social niceties, the list of topics to talk about is endless, and it's all direct, dil se!

That brings us to the big question -- what makes girlfriends tick? When you think about it, you realise a number of ingredients make up this delectable dish. 



Heart-to-hearts: These can be across the table, over the phone, over whatsapp groups,  with a coffee cup or popcorn in hand, on a drive, in times of distress or on days of boredom. Basically anytime, anywhere !!

These talks are the oxygen that keeps our friendships alive. We include the dissection and vivisection of everything, and we mean everything, under the sun. Right from the convoluted intricacies of petty office politics to burnt dals and overcooked rice to our own sex life -- past, present or non-existent.

Problems are identified, solutions suggested and pearls of  wisdom distributed free of cost. Only a girlfriend can understand the trauma of a white shirt turning off-white or the deep feeling of hurt at finding a 10k email includes 9k of your original message.

Only she will nod in perfect understanding when a friend wants to cry her heart out at a broken relationship, but says, "I can't, it gives me puffy eyes." 



Humour: Theirs is a unique brand. It's just the right concoction of clean, toilet, sex, and depressive humours, the potency of each ingredient varying according to the occasion and mood.

Who else but a girlfriend can laugh out loud at something inane and exclaim in the same breath, "That's not funny!"
Together we find humour in the sadness in our lives, then shed a few tears right after, and finally get back to those same lives, feeling infinitely better. 



Men: Girlfriends cannot exist without men. That's the bottomline. We may not be able to stand them, and yet we cannot do without them.
Discussing the personality traits of the lower species adds a dash of spice to an insipid conversation. Putting them through the shredder gives a purpose to a ho-hum day. Besides, men have their uses too. 



Husbands and in-laws: Rest assured husbands and men are two different species. Men are merely a pain, husbands a class apart. Swapping notes on husbands and their percentage of participation in housework, lending support and understanding, and generally shouldering some responsibility in the marriage is a time-consuming activity.

Then come in-laws. There is no dearth of conversation when girlfriends sit down on this subject. Night flashes by in a wink when married friends get together for a pyjama party.

It's not merely the supreme satisfaction of saying all the things one wants to one's in-laws but cannot, but the solace of having cleansed the soul and the comfort of knowing you are not alone in your suffering that actually goes into making this topic a bonding factor. 



Fitness: Girlfriends stick together through thick and thin, flabby arms and thunder thighs -- even, frizzy hair and breaking-out skin. Together we confront the temptation of chocolate mousses and the blandness of boiled veggies like true comrades-in-arms. What more proof of an undying friendship do you need? 



The humour and the fun, the gossip and the shredding are merely the tip of the iceberg. There's much more that women share. There's silly laughter and heartfelt tears, meaningful work we do together or just a chat we have -- all indications of the deep trust we have for each other.

Even if the whole world turns its back, these friends will always be there to lend their ear and a perfumed tissue. Doesn't matter whether we've known each other from pigtails to perms, the feeling doesn't die with time.

It's a bond no one can break. Not boyfriends, not husbands, not mothers-in-law..     :-)